Memories Lost
by S2xBlizzard-AngelxS2
Summary: I know where I am - you don't; I know why I left - you don't. But, you did, you knew. And now, I hate myself because you can't remember me - it's the only thing I don't know, anymore.
1. Loves Lost

**I am going to re-write this story . . . change the plot a little.**

**Here is the new first chapter.**

**But thank you to all who favourited, alerted, and reviewed the original story.**

**:D**

**Enjoy chapter 1~**

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"Ikuto." She spoke quietly as she rested her head against my shoulder. She was sleeping.

Everyone was watching with hearts in their eyes. They all were thinking the same thing; what a cute couple. Ikuto sighed and the sudden rise and fall of my shoulders woke Amu from her peaceful sleep.

"Ikuto," she murmured, "You should have woken me up."

She yawned and then looked around. Everyone was looking before quickly looked away, but on this small bus it was hard not looking suspicious. I don't know why they looked like they had been caught committing a sin but they were.

"We aren't there yet." I told her. She shifted her attention to me and her golden eyes stared at me. Her eyes were what first caught my attention when I bumped into to her on her first day at my high school.

* * *

_I was walking with my friends; we were in grade eleven at the time. We were laughing away and didn't pay attention to people as they scurried out of our way. Except for one girl who was new and too busy looking at her schedule as she turned the corner. Her head was down and she ran right into me, but she was petite so she fell backwards on to the floor._

_Her startled golden eyes looked up at me, "S-sorry."_

_I bent down and picked up her books, "its okay."_

_She continued to stare at me as she got off the ground, but then she snatched her books from me and scurried off._

_My friends were snickering, but I ignored them._

_Over the next couple days, she stood out. When I looked down the halls, I would catch a glimpse of her, but oddly enough I didn't realize she had pink hair until one of my friends made a snide comment. I promptly whacked on him the head, but then I knew she had pink hair and she stood out even more._

_She was everywhere I went._

_I began to figure out her schedule and made it a habit of bumping shoulders or something, just to get her to look at me. It freaked my friends out because I never showed any interest in a girl before, the girls always came to me._

_Then one day I was sitting alone outside, when she came marching up to me. She looked wet and cold in the autumn air._

_"You need to stop this." She growled as she gestured to the school._

_"Stop what? School?" I asked, astonished she singled me out._

_"No, not school." She huffed._

_"Then what?" I questioned and she glared._

_"This!" She exclaimed making wild hand gestures, "Everything; bumping into me, buying me lunch -"_

_"That was only once." I interjected._

_"But it was enough to send your 'fan club' after me." She glared._

_I forgot about those girls, but as I remembered shivers flew down my back. They were pretty cruel and then it dawned on me. She was standing in front of me with wet hair and clothes, shivering. I felt stupid and guilty as I pulled off my sweater and handed it to her._

_"I refuse your charity." She growled, but the wind blew and her teeth started to rattle._

_"Why? Just wear it." I urged._

_"No, because you think it's your responsibility because it was your fan club that did this to me." She chattered._

_"So it was them." I glared at nothing in particular. I was protective of her and I knew what that meant, as much as it scared me to admit it._

_The wind kept blowing and slowly her lips turned a little shade of blue. I stood up and pulled the sweater of her head. She protested, but then quickly stopped because she was warm._

_"Thanks." She whispered and rubbed her hand over her arm._

_"Keep it." I let the words slip out, but quickly tried to look nonchalant about it._

_"I guess that would be best considering it will be wet." She pulled at the hem which was too long._

_"Um," She was suddenly nervous, "I'm Amu."_

_I was stunned; I forgot to ask her for her name because I already asked on of her classmates to tell me. I swallowed and then went to introduce myself, but she stopped me._

_"I know who you are," She sighed, "So don't bother."_

_I suddenly felt like she was pushing me away._

_"Then can I take you to the movies on the weekend?" I didn't realize what I had said until she stared at me with her startled gold eyes. I then realized I wasn't teasing her or being too forward, but I knew why that was. It was because I didn't want to scare her away, just yet._

_She was about to answer, but then Saaya, the leader of my alleged fan club, walked into the school's courtyard calling my name. I pulled Amu behind the tree and bush behind the bench I was sitting on, but that was just a precaution because I hoped Saaya didn't see me._

_"Ikuto." She stood in front of me a couple of moments after I had sat down. "Didn't you here me call you?"_

_"Nope." I answered trying to show her that I wanted her to leave, but she didn't pick up on it._

_"Well, I was coming to tell you we got rid of that girl that was constantly bumping into you." Saaya sounded like she had just won the Olympics with a world record._

_I was astonished; did she choose to ignore the fact that I was the one bumping into Amu and not the other way around? My friends found it to be too obvious and told me to tone it down._

_"She wasn't bumping into to me." I tried to tell her._

_"You don't need to protect her, we already sent her packing." Saaya smirked._

_"But, she didn't bump into me." I exclaimed, "I was bumping into her."_

_Saaya took a step back and stared at me, "But we're meant to be together."_

_"No, we aren't." I told her with disgust. I had to be rude because otherwise she wouldn't get it._

_She was a noise of frustration and then stomped off without much of a fight. I was relived._

_Amu, not much later, stepped out from behind the tree and bushes. She started to tell me that I didn't need to lie for her, but I told her that I didn't lie; I told her nothing in the conversation I just had was a lie. Amu, unfortunately, didn't believe me._

_I shook my head, but moved on and asked her out to the movies. She was relaxed and agreed without much thought because as soon as she realized she had agreed she quickly tried to take it back. It hurt to hear that she really didn't want to, but I refused to let her back out._

_She was in grade nine, I found out that weekend, but it wasn't a huge age gape. After that weekend we started hanging out more often and before we knew it we were almost inseparable. However, it wasn't until she was in grade ten that my sister demanded to know if we were a couple, or not._

_Amu stuttered and blushed like nothing I have ever seen before, but in the end she agreed that we were a couple. However, I always thought we were._

* * *

"Ikuto." A voice penetrated though my thoughts.

"Ikuto." The voice repeated and I realized it was Amu.

I hummed to let her know I could hear her.

"We are here." She whispered in my ear, "Where ever here is, but the driver insists this is where you wanted to take me."

Right, I forgot that this little trip was my idea and she had no idea where we were going, but then, after I remembered how we met, I was beginning to back out of what was originally intended for this trip.

_'Go out with a bang.'_ was one of the only things I remembered from the last conversation I had with my boss. Because right now, Amu is in grade eleven with big dreams and I'm first year university with a full-time job. Which shouldn't be possible, but with my hours it was.

I told her that I told the bus driver where we were going as I led Amu to the top of a hill that over looked the city. It was the place I took her on her first birthday we had together, but what was different about this time was that the city below had a festival going and fireworks were scheduled.

Amu was about to ask why we were here at night, but then the fireworks were shot into the air. They silenced her as she watched with wonder. A smile came on to her face.

"Happy Birthday." I whispered into her ear and her smile became bigger.

After an hour or two of different firework displays, they finally stopped. Amu turned around and gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek.

"Thank you so much." She smiled.

"Don't thank me just yet." I said quiet sadness. Her arms were still around me and I toyed with the necklace I gave her last year as I tried to remember what else I was supposed to do.

_'I've waited too long to have a girl screw this up.'_ Another part of the conversation with my boss forced its way into my mind. I remembered what I was supposed to do.

I pushed Amu away from me, but as soon as her warmth was gone I immediately wanted to pull her back.

"I need to tell you something." I choked out. She looked up at me with the golden eyes I fell in love and my whole purpose nearly vanished, but I remembered on more thing of the conversation that held the purpose strong.

She didn't like that sound of my voice as she stepped back further.

"Not on my birthday, Ikuto." She begged.

I winced, "I'm going to Europe."

She looked away, but her expression show relief because it wasn't what she expected.

"Italy, to be more exact." I continued, "But -"

She looked at me suddenly and there were tears in her eyes, "Does there always need to be a 'but'?"

I dreaded this day, but I couldn't hold off any longer, "Unfortunately." I told her.

"Well, get on with it." She tried to growl, but the tough girl act hadn't even started before it started to break. I realized I was breaking her heart.

"But," I continued with a wince, "I probably - No, I'll never be coming back to Japan."

I swear I could literally hear the cracking sounds her heart was making.

"On my birthday, Ikuto, Really?" _Crack_, went her heart.

"I'm sorry." I tried to say.

"Apologizing only makes it worse." _Crack_, another one was formed.

She tried to find some hope in this dark situation, "Could I visit you? Like a long-distance relationship."

"No." I said firmly. She bowed her head, _Crack, Crack_; two more formed on her heart.

Her shoulders began to shake. She looked up at me suddenly and her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"When do you leave?" She asked, but I knew that she suspected the day and now she was only trying to dig her grave deeper.

"Tomorrow," I started and her heart went _Crack, Crack, Crack_. I wasn't sure how much more she could take as I continued, "morning."

This time she fell to her knees and I didn't hear a crack. I heard a shatter and she was crying her eyes out.

"Ikuto, Ikuto." She kept mumbling, "On my birthday."

She glared as best she could at me and then she surprised me, "On my fucking birthday, Ikuto! Seriously, why you were so kind, but the nicer option would have to rip my heart."

She screamed and then continued to cry. I swallowed; everything, except the orders I was following, told me to comfort her, but I wouldn't, I couldn't and I didn't.

"Amu." I tried to say, but she stopped me as she stood up on her weak legs. She stared at me with nearly no emotion, but then I remembered another part of the conversation I had with my boss, _'Don't do a half-assed job, Destroy her.'_

I swallowed, I wasn't even sure what made me say what I said next, but I regretted it.

"The worse you could have done. . ." Amu tried to continue, but I need to get this over with.

"I never loved you, or liked you. I was just using you." I cringed as the emotions in Amu's features vanished.

". . . was say that." Amu crumbled to the ground and sobbed.

"Amu." I whispered with pain.

She sat up slightly and screamed, "Just go."

When I didn't move she stood up again and ran at me. "Go!" She pushed me towards the bus stop.

"Go!" she shrieked and slammed her hands into my chest. With every hit I felt the agonizing pain I cause her. She hit me twice more before her efforts became weak.

I stepped forward.

"Didn't you hear me?" She exclaimed as she faced me completely. When I said I saw no emotion, I lied. The only emotion I saw was pure agony and rage.

The bus pulled up to the stop. It was the same driver that drove us up here.

"Amu." I tried to tell her to go to the bus but she fell to the ground again.

"Leave." She whispered, "And don't ever think about coming back." She cringed at her own sentence because deep down where she locked away her love, she knew it was a lie.

I tried once more, but then she cried harder and screamed, "Go! I don't know why you're still here."

I turned and walked towards the bus. This was for the best, but then I heard it; it was the first time I had ever heard her say it.

"I love you." She whispered with her broken voice.

If she would have said it sooner I probably wouldn't have left and I tried to go back to her after I heard her say it but the bus pulled away as I turned to see her.

_"I love you."_ She mouthed again with the tears pouring from her eyes as the bus pulled away. I slammed my hand against the window and then fell to the ground. I dug the heel of my palm into my eyes, I would not cry, but a couple tears managed to escape.

"And here I thought I had hired a man." A voice called from the back of the bus.

I instantly looked into the shadows and saw the man who had spoken. It was my boss.

I wiped my face quickly and then turned to face him with the most stone cold expression I could, but it was hard to after what I just saw.

"Now that, the little pest is out of the way. Let's get down to business." The man spoke with unwavering authority that couldn't be rivalled.

I glared at him before moving to the seat opposite to him.

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**There you have it!**

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	2. Answers Lost

**I hope you enjoy chapter 2!**

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**Amu POV**

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Ikuto, I knew it would hurt when you heard and saw me say the thing you wished you heard earlier on in our relationship, but the bus drove away with you and our memories. I wouldn't remember you, I wouldn't try to find you and when you realized your mistake; I won't take you back.

Why?

Because suddenly I didn't know you. You with the blue eyes, that captured me the first time I saw you. You think the first time we met was in the hall when I ran into you, but that wasn't it. It was my first day to the school, but not my first day in Japan.

Before the hall incident, we saw each other every day. You ordered coffee and I ordered tea. You sat by the wall with your phone and I sat by the window with a book. I wanted to know you, but I was terrified because the girls that always approached you were model quality. I wore sweat pants and t-shirts, I was comfortable and the girls looked like they dressed to impress; to impress you.

So, then why, Mr. blue-eyes, why did you chose me?

You always told me you loved me, but I didn't believe you until the day you left. I think you left.

I didn't remember anything. My mind wrote a letter to someone who I didn't know so should I have signed with 'love', or 'sincerely'. I couldn't re-read my letter for errors because as soon as the thought entered my mind it didn't stay. To give you better understanding of what I meant; how did I start this letter, did I know your name?

That letter started with someone who knew you well, and you knew them, but let me finish as someone who only knew glimpses of you.

Mr. Blue-eyes, it was only your eyes I saw. I couldn't see your face, your body; nothing. Everything was being erased from my mind. I felt like I might have soon forgotten your eyes. That scared me because another part of me - one that was being erased with you - screamed for your return. I wished I knew you and that girl who used to be . . . Me?

* * *

"Amu." Someone whispered gentle.

Who is this person? Who is _'Amu'_?

"Honey, are you awake?" The same person asked.

Of course, I'm awake, but everything is black.

"Doctor, she is moving her mouth." The person exclaimed happily.

Is that what this feeling is? Am I moving my mouth? Suddenly I remembered how to open my eyes.

They flew open and blinked rapidly. Light flooded into my eyes and I waited for the shine to dim.

I took in my surroundings as I listened to the doctor explain my situation.

"Ma'am, please relax." The doctor exclaimed, "After the fall, she suffered major head injuries and it's likely she doesn't remember how to talk, or move her body. Luckily, those things can be easily taught."

"Luckily?" The woman was suspicious.

"It's possible she'll never regain her memories." The doctor sighed and then led the woman out of the room with a man following them. The woman was very upset.

I refuse to believe what the doctor said. I know sentences and language and I know what things are, so how can I forget everything else?

I looked around the room everything was white and I felt sick looking at the colour, but if I closed my eyes then I saw black and that colour scared me. I tried to reach for the glass of water on the desk beside me, but then I realized my arm wasn't moving.

What?

This can't be happening. I tried again, but only my fingers moved, but it sent relief through my veins. I tried again and again, until finally I could lift my arm up. I was in the process of moving my hand over when a young female nurse walked in and gasped in surprise at what she saw. Her gasp caused my body to finch and my hand flew; knocking into the glass. It fell over and shattered to pieces.

Suddenly, a beeping monitor started to beep uncontrollably. I think it was monitoring my heart, but the sudden sound only made me more nervous. The female nurse rushed over to me and started asking me all sorts of questions, but my mouth was clamped shut with fear.

She raced out of the room and called for the doctor. The man, who, I assume, was here just minutes ago came running into the small room. He shouted orders to the nurses.

Panic swept over me. It was like nothing I've felt before.

The monitor began to beep even more wildly and the doctor was shouting at me to relax, but how can I relax with everyone running around like chickens with their head cut off.

The woman and man from before (well, I'm only guessing really) were suddenly at the door.

"Amu." She cried, "Please don't leave us."

Who is '_Amu'_?

"Amu." A nurse called for my attention, "There's going to be a small amount of pressure on your arm, so be still."

Was I Amu? Why don't I know my name or the people who think that I am Amu?

Suddenly, I was struck with a thought of blue eyes. My mind tried to grasp them, but they vanished as some pressure was applied to my arm. However, it was not a small amount of pressure, like the woman had told me. I did the one thing I remembered how to do;

Scream.

I screamed and thrashed against restraints. I don't know how they got around my wrists and ankles, but they were there.

The woman stepped forward, "Stop, your hurting her." She begged.

Hurting? Is that what that was? Were these people hurting me?

So many questions, and it overwhelmed my brain and before I knew it I blacked out.

The dark space was different from before, because last time I was here there was someone with me. . . Wasn't there? He . . . It was a 'he', right?

* * *

Slowly I began to hear again, but I only heard silence and the beeping machine. I cautiously opened my eyes and looked around. There was only a nurse inside my room and when she glanced over at me she smiled.

"You've had many visitors, my dear." The woman was older than the others.

"It's night time, so the young nurses are at home." The woman smiled and I managed to form what I thought was a smile on my face.

"Oh, that won't do." The elderly woman exclaimed as she rushed over.

"The doctor told me to explain everything to you before I do anything, in case I surprise you." The woman stared at me to see if I understood.

I understand, is what I wanted to say, but I didn't remember how to talk. So, I settled for an attempt to nod my head. The woman smiled and continued on, "I'm going to touch your face and put your lips into a smile and you just try to remember how it feels so you can do it on your own."

I nodded again.

The woman put her aged, but long fingers on my face and gently pushed the corners of my mouth into a smile.

"My, don't you look familiar." She smiled, "I believe, I've seen your smiling face once before."

Really? I don't remember you, but I couldn't say that. I sighed with defeat because no matter how many times I opened and closed my mouth; I still couldn't talk.

"Oh, I think my grandson showed me your picture once." She looked down at me, "Do you know a boy named Ikuto?"

I looked at her, and wished I did know someone by that name just to form some sort of connection between this woman, but I didn't remember anyone by that name.

I shook my head.

"Too bad, he's gone missing, you know." The air around the woman became very sad, but she quickly erased it and cared on her way to the next room.

I couldn't stay wake too long because I slowly was pulled back into my sleep, but for some reason I couldn't got what the woman had said out of my head; _"He's gone missing, you know."_

Why did I care so much? I didn't know him, did I?

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**There you have it!**

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	3. Parents Lost

**Thanks for the support of reviewers and people who have alerted the story and favourited it.**

**Enjoy!**

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"Did you hear?" They whispered amongst each other.

Some would have nodded, and others would have whispered back, "No, what?"

The ones with the information were about to respond, but the door to the classroom slide out with a slam. A blonde girl with long legs marched into the room.

"She's back." Everyone whispered, but the only thing that they didn't whisper about was the girl's cause to be there. Why was she back? Usually, that answer was obvious, but with her 'other-half' missing, no one knew why.

The teacher walked in behind her and told her to take a seat, but the girl didn't move an inch because there was someone missing from the class and even though the girl always skipped, she knew someone was missing.

The girl spun to face the teacher, "Where is she?"

"Pardon." The teacher turned to face the chalkboard.

"Where is Amu?" The girl demanded to know.

The class became eerily silent and the teacher stopped writing on the chalkboard.

"Utau," A boy from the class called, "I'll show you."

Utau turned and looked at the boy and then looked at the teacher who had put the chalk down without finishing the note. The teacher nodded at them. They walked out of the classroom.

"Does she know Ikuto is missing?" Utau asked.

The boy shrugged his shoulders, "She probably won't care."

"Won't care!" Utau fumed, "Tadase, they've been dating for two years."

"But, they broke up before Ikuto disappeared." Tadase explained.

Utau stopped walking, "Are you still stalking her?"

Tadase didn't answer as he continued, "It was her birthday, and they went up to the cliff that over looked the town and Amu was really upset and . . ."

Tadase stopped talking, but they were walking out of the school.

"And?" Utau questioned.

"I wasn't close enough to hear what happened, but then Ikuto pushed her off of the cliff." Tadase said. Utau found it unbelievable- actually she didn't believe it, but she wouldn't tell Tadase that.

Utau remembered how much Ikuto loved Amu; she was certain Ikuto wouldn't have pushed Amu off a pool deck into a deep pool with the intent to hurt her, let alone a cliff.

She remembered one day when Ikuto came into the house with some much rage that he didn't know how to control himself. Amu followed him in and looked terrified. Ikuto vanished into his room, but we heard him breaking things. Later on, I found out his mood was because he caught Tadase peeping in Amu's window. Ikuto protectiveness earned points with Amu's dad, but it also scared my parents because Ikuto acted like his world revolted around Amu - and it did in more ways than one.

They got into Utau's car. She forced Tadase to sit in the front, so she could have some privacy in the back.

"Are you sure you don't want the front seat?" Tadase asked.

"Positive." Utau mumbled as she pulled out her phone.

She sent a text; _Ikuto, I know you won't respond to me, but you have to this time. Tadase is framing you; I have to know if it was you who pushed her down the cliff._

She closed her phone; she knew it was no good. Even if the text was about Amu he wouldn't answer in fear we would find him. And if he did respond to her text then they, their parents, would find him.

When they pulled up to the hospital, Utau told her chauffeur to wait there.

They walked into the white building and walked straight to a room without going to reception. As they neared a room, they heard laughing and when they walked into the room the girl with pink hair abruptly stopped laughing.

"Grandma?" Utau exclaimed.

"Oh, perfect timing, Utau." The elderly nurse smiled at her granddaughter.

"Amu, this is Utau." The nurse introduced Utau to Amu.

"Grandma, she knows me." Utau looked at Amu, "Don't you?"

Amu pulled the blankets to her chin and shook her head.

"Do you know him?" Utau pointed to Tadase and Amu shook her head. "But you know your name?"

Amu shook her head again.

"She only knows it to be her name because the doctor told her it was." Utau's grandmother explained.

"She doesn't remember most things; like people," She gestured to Utau, "and talking."

"I . . ." Amu tried to say, but she gave up and pointed to Utau.

Amu pushed a button and another nurse appeared at the door. Amu pointed to Tadase and the elderly nurse. The elderly nurse, Utau's grandmother, didn't put up a fight as she walked out on her own, but Tadase refused to leave.

Amu gripped the sheets tighter and started to shake.

"Tadase," Utau warned, "You're scaring her."

Tadase stopped and looked at Amu who was cowering in her bed. He sighed and then left.

"Come sit down." Amu spoke cautiously.

"So you can talk." Utau stated.

Amu nodded her head with guilt.

"Don't worry about it." Utau said gently.

"That boy sends chills up my spine." Amu said with a shiver.

Utau reached her hand out, but Amu flinched away.

"I'm sorry that I don't remember you." Amu apologized after she relaxed against Utau's hand.

"Don't apologize to me." Utau sighed.

The room was silent until Utau asked how long her grandmother was Amu's nurse.

"At first, she was the night nurse, but then I liked her better than the younger ones, so they made her my day nurse instead." Amu shrugged her shoulders, "She's been my day nurse for three weeks now."

"How old are you?" Amu asked.

"The same age as you, 17." Utau answered. "I met you through your boyfriend, my brother."

"So, then that blond boy was your brother?" Amu asked.

Utau stared at Amu with shock, "Is that what you think?"

Amu shook her head and opened her mouth to answer, but then Tadase barged in, "That's what I told her."

Utau opened her mouth to protest, but then Tadase spoke up again, "I was able to sign you out of the hospital."

Amu stared at Tadase without moving because the facts were colliding in her mind.

Utau's grandmother had a missing grandson, Ikuto, but she was also Utau's grandmother. Utau was a sister of Tadase, so why didn't Utau's grandmother say anything? And why did Utau look like she was about to argue with Tadase?

Amu tried to think of how family connections worked, but then it struck her. Different mothers; Ikuto had a different mother from Utau and Tadase. Amu was confident with her explanation, but it still nagged at her that Utau was about to disagree.

"What about her parents?" Utau asked.

Tadase looked at Amu and then said, "She doesn't have any."

Amu looked at Utau to see if it was true, but Utau's facial expressions didn't change at all. Amu took it as the truth.

Utau excused herself from the room and she ran. Fast. She went to a bathroom and pulled out her phone and called Amu's parents.

_"Hello."_ A cheery woman stated.

"Hi." Utau answered.

_"Utau."_ The woman growled,_ "Delete my number and don't call again."_

"But, Amu." Utau tried to talk.

_"Amu doesn't exist anymore, only her body does."_ The woman screamed and then hung up.

"Cruel." Utau whispered, "That's just cruel."

Utau walked out of the bathroom as Tadase and Amu pasted. She chased after them and stood in front of Amu's wheelchair.

"She will stay at my house." Utau challenged.

Tadase was about to refuse, when Amu clapped and squealed with happiness as she smiled at Utau.

"No." Tadase still refused, "She will stay with me."

Amu growled.

"Oh, just talk." Tadase was getting fed up.

"She doesn't trust you." Utau's grandmother appeared behind him.

"Amu, dear, if you want things to go your way you have to make them happen." Utau's grandmother told her.

Amu huffed, but then she glanced at Tadase. Shivers ran up and down her spine and she made her choice. She set both hands on the rests of her chair and heaved herself up and out of the chair. She set both feet on the ground and walked slowly of to Utau.

Utau's grandmother smiled, "We have been practicing."

Amu smiled at her and then gripped Utau for support.

"But you don't remember me." Utau said.

"I don't remember him either," Amu whispered, "But I feel I can trust you."

"But I'm her boyfriend." Tadase growled.

Utau was about to protest, but then a doctor asked them to leave. Tadase slammed the chair into the wall and roared with frustration. Amu shook a little, but Utau quickly calmed her down and then helped her to the car.

When they were out of the building, Utau noticed Tadase near her car.

"Find your own way home." Utau called.

Tadase glared at her and then marched away.

Amu and Utau were in the car when the driver asked for directions.

"Um, home?" Utau said with confusion.

"You do have a home, right?" Amu looked at Utau.

Utau nodded but the truth was that she hadn't been there since her dad disappeared, and her mom was admitted into a large hospital far away.

"To the house." Utau told her driver with confidence. He nodded and pulled away from the curb. Amu relaxed into her seat and slowly drifted off as Utau turned to tell her about Ikuto, but when she saw Amu's half asleep face, she changed her mind.

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**There you have it!**

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	4. Lost

**Here is Chapter 4!**

**Thanks to everyone who is reading this story and patiently waiting for this chapter!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Ikuto." Her laugh echoed through the dark space of Ikuto's dream.

Ikuto shot up in his bed, or cot. He was sweating heavily and as he ran his hand through his hair he realized he had dug his nails into his palm again. There were little blood marks on both of his palms.

Suddenly the heavy steel door opened and Ikuto's boss stepped into.

"Oh, good you're awake." The man smirked.

Ikuto glared at him and then said, "I'm not doing your dirty work."

The man seemed to find the statement funny as his sinister laughter ricocheted off the walls of the confined space.

"But you already have." The man smiled as Ikuto swallowed. "And I have another mission."

A woman walked around the man with a needle in her hand.

"Please don't struggle." She begged, but Ikuto was already on his feet and ready to struggle.

"If you cooperate I'll give you your phone." The man dangled the slender mobile phone. Ikuto noticed it had a red flashing light which meant there was a texted message that the boss was going to let him see. However, Ikuto knew this text message would only throw him deeper into despair; which only made him want to see it more, but he also was terrified that the message would be about Amu.

While he was thinking the woman shoved the needle into his forearm with surgical precision and then she ran out of the room in fear of her safety. The man left the room and shut the steel door.

This drug that they pumped through his veins was filled with a new experimental drug they were using to control him. Ikuto hardly remembered what he had done when he was influenced by the drug before. He knew the door would be unlocked, and his mind told him he wanted to leave, but Ikuto tried to surpass the urge to succumb to the boss' will.

Ikuto noticed a file on the ground near the door. It was taunting him because as his mind became more clouded by the drug the less control he had over his body, until he was watching himself walk over and pick up the folder.

The drug enhanced all of Ikuto's abilities. He flipped through the folder with lightning sped and when he was finished he threw the folder to the ground. It slipped under his bed, like the rest. Ikuto raced out of his room as the information flew by in his mind.

Young male, about his own age, but that didn't bother Ikuto at the moment. No direct family, the only person close to him was the daughter of Ikuto's boss' rival. Ikuto didn't question the boss' motives when he was drugged, but Ikuto's conscious mind was strong this time; it was more used to the drug.

Ikuto hopped along the roof tops until he got to an apartment. A piece of information floated by, room 429.

Ikuto went into the building and found the room, but when he broke in there was no one there. Ikuto searched the information in his mind. One of his favourite places to go was the park - with his girlfriend. However, Ikuto's mind didn't comprehend that there might be a bystander because he would take out the bystander as well.

Ikuto's inhuman reflexes and strength allowed him to reach the barren park in minutes and his enhanced hearing allowed him to hear a woman's laughing and a man's words. Ikuto raced off in that direction.

The woman was blonde and the man was he turned to face Ikuto was the man Ikuto was looking for.

"What do you want?" He asked as Ikuto walked forward.

Ikuto didn't answer as he shoved his fist into the man's face. The man stepped back and coughed. The woman gasped and raced to his side, but Ikuto threw her away like a bothersome fly. She hit a trashcan nearby, and that's when the man lost it. He ran at Ikuto, but Ikuto used the man's own momentum to throw on his back.

Ikuto was so busy beating the person to a pulp that he didn't realize the woman was standing beside him. She managed to daze Ikuto, by smashing a branch over the back of his head. The daze was enough to weaken the drugs effect a slight bit, but Ikuto's boss was fighting to control him.

_"Finish them."_ The boss' voice commanded through the ear piece. Ikuto didn't realize it was there until now.

Ikuto's body willingly moved forward.

"No!" The woman screamed as she covered the man's body.

The man tried, with weak attempts, to push her away, but she wouldn't move.

"I love you." She cried.

Ikuto stopped moving.

Any cloud in his mind vanished with the presence of one girl. Amu was all he could think about and how he left her. Ikuto looked at the people before him and stumbled away.

"I love you," She cried again, "Don't leave me."

Ikuto turned and raced away, there was fear and horror present in his features as he realized what he had been doing.

_"What!"_ The boss' voice bellowed, but Ikuto's mind was clear. He ran far away from the little Italian park and he threw the ear piece on the ground as he raced through the small and empty streets.

Ikuto knew he just had to stay awake until the drugs effects wore off, but he knew it was easier said then done. In fact, it was impossible because Ikuto was dragging his feet through the street; he was too tired.

Ikuto fell to the ground with his back to the wall of a building. He needed something to keep him away, but, as he looked around, he realized there was no one around to pick a fight with and no way to stay awake.

"I . . ." Ikuto tried to talk to himself.

"Need to sleep." A female voice said. Ikuto shook his head wildly because it sounded like Amu's voice. Ikuto finally looked up and stared into golden eyes. The girl smiled and swept a piece of her pink hair behind her ears.

"You need to go to sleep, Ikuto." She stated. Ikuto knew he would listen to Amu because he was so tired that his brain had forgotten a side affect of the drug his boss was using. The drug made him see hallucinations, but not just any hallucinations, they always were of Amu.

So Ikuto fell asleep . . . Or so he thought. Except, his conscious mind went to sleep as his body managed to find its way back to the cell where his boss was keeping him.

* * *

The next morning Ikuto was awake and sitting in a chair, strapped down. Ikuto moaned and then looked ahead at his boss.

"I am not pleased, Ikuto." His boss sneered.

"You never are." Ikuto retorted. Ikuto didn't know who his boss was; his face was always shrouded in darkness.

His boss didn't do anything except raise his hand.

Ikuto screamed and gagged as electricity flowed through his body. It wasn't enough to kill his or do permanent damage, but it was enough to be painful. Very painful.

The pain stopped and Ikuto slumped forward. The woman from before was furiously untying the straps holding Ikuto down and then rushed away. The man stepped forward, but he was still surrounded with shadows.

"Now, that I have your _full_ attention, I'd like to read you something." The boss said and Ikuto knew he had a smirk on his face.

The boss pulled out Ikuto's cell phone and flipped it open.

"Oh, you have two new messages." The man said evilly, "One from your sister, like usual and, oh this is new." The boss was taunting him.

"The other is from your lovely little Amu." The boss laughed a little when Ikuto looked up with attention. "Let's see what they have to say."

Ikuto knew that if the message was going to be read to him then it would be better not to hear it, but he didn't have a choice.

"This is from your sister," He took a breath and started with a fake girly voice, "_Ikuto, I know you won't respond to me, but you have to this time._ She sounds serious, Ikuto, you better respond." The boss was being cruel as he continued, "_Tadase is framing you; I have to know if it was you who pushed her down the cliff._"

The colour on Ikuto's face drained faster than water from a tap. He remembered back to when the bus was pulling away from the cliff and Amu. They passed a red ford focus idling just minutes from where Amu and Ikuto just were. Ikuto knew who's car it was; it was Tadase's, but Ikuto knew, or at least, hoped it wasn't Tadase who pushed her down.

The boss closed Ikuto's phone and Ikuto looked at him.

"What did Amu say?" Ikuto whispered.

"Nothing, I was lying to you." The boss laughed as he exited the cold room, which suddenly felt a hundred degrees colder because suddenly Ikuto badly wanted to hear for Amu in any way, shape or form.

Ikuto clenched his teeth together as two men lifted Ikuto out of the chair and pulled him back to his cell, but Ikuto hardly noticed as Amu danced across his mind. It was driving him insane, but he knew it was the only thing keeping him from going insane.

The men threw him on to the cement floor. It was damp and cool, but Ikuto hardly noticed as exhaustion suddenly overwhelmed him body and mind. He fell asleep.

Amu stood alone on a cliff and she was humming to herself like she would when she was thinking about something.

"What are you thinking about?" Ikuto asked, like he always did, but she usually answered with a shrug or an 'I'm not telling you" and a smile.

However, the Amu in Ikuto's dream turned to him and said, "Are you coming back, or would it better if I moved on and forgot about you?"

Amu vanished as if she was never there and Ikuto jolted awake to find himself on the ground. He needed to get out of this place and that was the only thing on his mind, but then the question came to his attention. How?

* * *

**There you have it?**

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	5. A Friend Lost

_**Here is chapter 6!**_

_**Whoot! ^^**_

* * *

_**A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.  
**__- Thomas Carlyle_

* * *

Amu woke up the next morning in a large queen size bed with pillows everywhere and piles of blankets thrown everywhere. It looked like a complete mess.

Amu sat up with confusion and fear, where was she?

The door to her room slowly eased opened and Utau popped her head in. Suddenly everything slowly filtered back into Amu's mind; she was at Utau's house.

"Amu, I have to tell you something." Utau started.

"A good morning would be nice." Amu retorted and looked out the large window beside her bed.

Utau smiled and apologized, "Good morning, breakfast is ready."

Amu smiled at Utau and thanked her. Utau closed the door and sighed; when was she ever going to get a chance to tell Amu about Ikuto?

Utau was down stairs setting up the table when she heard crashing from upstairs.

"Amu." She called as she raced upstairs.

"Amu." She called again with worry as she through the door open.

Amu was on the ground in a heap.

"I can't stand up." Amu cried with frustration.

Utau sighed and sat beside Amu as she leaned against the bed.

"I think it was too early for you to leave the hospital." Utau stated sadly.

Amu looked at Utau and the down at her hands, "You're probably right."

"They have therapy at the hospitals, don't they?" Utau asked and Amu nodded her head.

"How about after breakfast I'll take you back?" Utau asked Amu.

"Fine." Amu sighed.

Utau helped Amu stand up and change. When they were prepared they started to go down the stairs. It wasn't to challenging thanks to the railing, but it was difficult enough for Amu's muscles because when they reached the bottom of the stairs Amu had to sit down for a break. It wasn't that it was physically exhausting, but it was mentally exhausting.

Afterward, they headed towards the kitchen to eat breakfast. It wasn't as bad as Utau had thought it would be because Amu seemed to have to hang of a fork, but Utau was terrified to give her a knife, so Utau cut things into pieces for her. This and getting dressed was only some of the reasons why Utau thought Amu should go back to the hospital.

Amu was like teaching a baby, and Utau wanted to help Amu, but she had a job and it was obvious that Amu wasn't ready for the real world quite yet.

After breakfast, Amu was walked to Utau's car and taken to the hospital. Utau was on the phone the entire time. Amu, realized that she was a burden to Utau.

"Yes," Utau nodded, "I'll be there soon."

A comment or two was passed and then Utau hung up.

"What do you do?" Amu tried to ask the question.

Utau smiled and answered, "I'm a singer and I have a tour soon."

"I'm sorry I was in the way." Amu sighed.

Utau realized what was going on and quickly tried to change Amu's mind, "Amu, I'm not abandoning you."

Amu smiled and stared out the window. How fast can someone change? She thought.

"Too fast." Amu answered her question with an unheard whisper.

They reached the hospital and they were greeted by Utau's grandmother and a doctor who apologized for letting her leave before she was supposed to because apparently someone got the names mixed up. Amu stumbled to them without a word to Utau.

Utau said a quick goodbye and left.

"Did something happen, dear?" Utau's grandmother asked.

"Utau realized what happened to me." Amu sighed, "I need too much help."

"Utau isn't like that." The elderly nurse protested.

"She is when she has an upcoming tour." Amu stated as she sat in a wheelchair that the doctor had brought her.

Utau's grandmother fell silent and followed the doctor and Amu into the hospital.

* * *

When Amu was settled in the bed the elderly nurse sat down on the edge of the bed and turned to Amu.

"Call me Sophia." She smiled and then Amu smiled back.

"Okay." She answered just as there was a knock on the door. A younger nurse opened the door for Tadase and Sophia tried to refuse his entry.

"It's okay." Amu stated quietly as Tadase looked at her impatiently.

"Press the red button if you need me." Sophia called.

"She won't need you." Tadase stated with disgust.

"That's for her to decide." she responded gruffly as she exited the room.

Amu looked at Tadase with defiance and hatred.

Tadase was the first person who offered her answers to her questions when she woke up, but now she found her self doubting every one of his answers.

"Did you tell me any real answers?" Amu begged to be told he could be trusted.

Tadase walked closer and put his forehead to hers and smiled, "Everything was the truth."

Amu smiled with relief, but it quickly vanished.

"Did you do as I told you?" Tadase got serious.

"Yes." Amu's heart fluttered with anticipation.

"You made Utau think you didn't trust me." Tadase looked at Amu with determined and evil eyes, but Amu was too naïve to notice the evil in the seemingly trustworthy boy.

"Yes." She said with quick breaths.

Tadase gave her a smile that showed all of his intentions, but she couldn't tell. He leaned closer and pressed his lips to hers. This is what she wanted because in her dreams she was chasing someone and she wanted to erase that horrible feeling she had when she woke up without the unknown person.

Amu wrapped her arms around Tadase and Tadase put one hand on Amu's pillow and one hand on Amu's neck to deepen the kiss.

Tadase pulled away first and they both were breathing heavily.

For the rest of the day Tadase and Amu spent time in her room and Utau never reappeared.

Weeks past and Utau never showed up. So, Sophia tried to get Tadase to be forbidden to see Amu because they were getting too close too fast and Sophia knew that Amu would think she was falling in love and mindlessly follow Tadase because she didn't know any better. However, all of Sophia's attempts were useless when Tadase's parents owned the hospital.

"Amu." Sophia walked into the room feeling a little deflated, one morning.

"What?" Amu growled because she was being overwhelmed by a feeling of frustration, but she didn't know why. When she told Tadase, he told her it was because Sophia was trying to keep them apart. However, that explanation only seemed to create more frustration.

"You need to stop seeing Tadase." Sophia begged as she grabbed Amu's hands.

Amu pulled her hands away, "Tadase was right, you are trying to keep him away from me."

"Only because he isn't good for you." Sophia urged and pleaded with her eyes.

"But I finally got rid of that nightmare . . ." Amu got silent. It was true the nightmare of chasing someone, but never catching them was getting . . . depressing.

"But do you feel happy?" Sophia sat on the edge of the bed.

Amu didn't answer, but the answer was clear. She felt like something was missing and Sophia knew it, but she was silent as she got up and left.

She leaned against her bed and stared at the window. It frightened her that she couldn't see outside of the window. The curtains were pulled closed but Amu wanted to see outside. Tadase told her to keep them close and so she did, but she was getting claustrophobic with how close he keeps himself.

Amu pressed the red button on the side of her bed. Sophia was at the door in an instant.

"Do you have Utau's number?" She asked.

"I do, but I'm not giving it to you if you are going to be following orders." Sophia countered.

Amu looked down with disappointment in herself. She lost the trust of someone she couldn't afford to lose.

Sophia stepped to the side of Amu's bed and passed a cell phone to Amu.

"Opening the curtains shouldn't be a rule," Sophia smiled down at her.

Amu looked up with astonishment, "How much do you know?"

"I'm never far away, dear." Sophia smiled and left the room after showing Amu how to work the phone, but told her to be quick because phones were prohibited from being used.

Amu made the call quick, but what made it easier was that Utau didn't answer and it went straight to voice mail.

The beep signalling Amu went off and Amu spoke, "Utau, I'm sorry for acting. I knew you wanted to tell me something important, but Tadase told me that you would try to take me from him. I realize now that that would probably be best; if I was far away from Tadase, that is."

Amu was silent and then she added one more comment, "Come back soon, I miss my friend."

Amu closed the phone and hid it under her pillow at the right moment because as she was getting comfortable, Tadase marched and tried to steal another kiss, but Amu pushed him away.

"Go away." Amu whispered meekly.

Amu's head throbbed.

Tadase looked at her wildly, "What?"

"Go." Amu ordered and pointed to the door. Her headache got worse.

"You can't make me." Tadase said with defiance.

Amu closed her eyes and searched for the red button as she head pounded. Suddenly, her hand was grabbed and wrenched away from the button. Amu's eyes flashed open and she stared at Tadase's eyes.

"What do you remember?" Tadase demanded with pure hatred, "Do you remember _him_?"

Amu coughed, the pain in her head was unbearable, "Leave."

She pulled her hand away and slammed Tadase in the chest just enough to send him trying to catch his balance. The room became too bright, which was odd because the windows weren't open, but the brightness made it difficult to concentrate and only made Amu's head ache worse.

Amu searched for the red button, and she found a button, but not the red button. Luckily, it was good enough because three nurses and Sophia raced into the room.

Amu pointed to Tadase through squinted eyes and asked them to make him leave.

Tadase did not want to leave peaceful. He was enraged and soon Sophia called for a couple of male nurses to come take him away.

"Amu!" He kept calling her, but she didn't want to hear it.

"Just go! I don't know why you're still here." She spoke loud, but then as soon as the sentence was out of her mouth a pain overwhelmed her. It was like a transport truck ran over her head.

Amu gripped her head. Sophia called for the doctors next, but it was too late. Amu passed out before they could ask her any question to help them analyze the situation.

* * *

_Amu sat on cold grass with tears streaming down her face. Ikuto; why did you leave? Amu sobbed a little more before she whipped her eyes and walked over to the edge of the cliff. She stood a safe distance away from the edge, but it was so tempting._

"_Amu." She scolded herself. "Ikuto will come back, even if he thinks he won't; he will because he has to."_

_Amu sniffed and then sighed. So many things happened there on that cliff. Ikuto kissed her for the first time there, on her first birthday they spent together, they spent all of her birthdays at the cliff so it shouldn't have been a surprise that he would take her here this year and she confessed to him for the first and second time here, in words. _

_Amu knew she told Ikuto how much he meant to her everyday through her actions, but she knew that action weren't always going to be enough. _

_Amu stood and took several steps closer to the edge; sure it was fenced off, but the fence was short and old. It would be easy to jump over or break down. She stepped closer and rested her hands on the fence. _

_The city that was sparkling so elegantly moments before suddenly looked dark, cold and dead._

_Amu dropped to her knees, "It's just not the same without you Ikuto."_

"_Then find a replacement." A voice spoke. It sounded familiar, but the moon was covered by cloud which made seeing the person very difficult. _

_The clouds moved and Amu saw who it was._

"_Tadase." She spat with disgust. _

_His face twisted with rage, but she ignored as she turned away, "No can replace him; especially you." _

_He made a rude sound and then marched closer, "Then why don't you join him?"_

"_What?" Amu gasped as she turned, but Tadase pushed her and because she was starting to turn to look at Tadase her position was awkward and unnatural making the fall much worse. _

_Amu hit the ground and rolled down the nearly vertical drop, she bounced off some trees, and blacked out before she hit the rocks at the bottom of the cliff._

* * *

The memory vanished and Amu gasped as her eyed fluttered open, but as she looked around she realized that she wasn't really awake. She was in the dark space where she was usually chasing that man. Ikuto.

She smiled to herself, but she also felt like crying.

_Why did he leave?_

_Does he still care about her?_

_Would he come back?_

_What is Tadase up to?_

Those questions and many more were circling their way around her head. Another headache came pounded through her mind. Amu bent to the ground in pain, but it suddenly vanished and Amu collapsed to the ground.

Amu felt like things were slipping away and she rested out to grab something solid. She found a hand, and she begged quietly, "I don't want to forget again."

* * *

However, she woke up crying her eyes out.

Sophia was at her side, "Oh, honey, it will be okay."

As Sophia hugged Amu, she whispered, "I remembered what happened to me for a second, but I don't any more."

Amu sobbed.

Sophia sat down and looked at Amu with sadness. "Amu, I have something to tell you."

Amu looked at Sophia through her tears and waited.

"I promised Utau I would tell you the moment you woke up." Sophia cringed, "She won't be able to come back. She has an important European tour."

Amu nodded numbly and gripped Sophia's hand.

"She should look there." Amu found herself saying, "She should look there."

Amu continued to say that until she drifted off, but Sophia was concerned about what she meant and called Utau.

"_I told you not to bother me." _Utau barked when she picked up.

"I know, but Amu had a dream about what happened to her." Sophia sighed and then continued, "She forgets now, but she just fell asleep mumbling the same phrase over and over again. I thought it might be important to you while you're in Europe."

"_Okay." _Utau seemed hesitant.

"After I told Amu that you would be going on a European tour, she said 'She should look there.'" Sophia explained, "Do you know what that means?"

"_I think it means she unconsciously remembered that Ikuto told her where he was going." _Utau squealed with excitement.

"So she knew your brother." Sophia smiled.

"_Knew him." _Utau laughed, _"Ikuto wasn't himself without her. Oh, I gotta go. Thanks grandma."_

"No problem." Sophia whispered with overwhelming sadness.

She hung up the phone and brushed some hair away from Amu's face as she whispered.

"I hope he's found soon." Sophia sighed, "For all we know he holds all the answers and quite possibly the key to your memories."

Sophia kissed Amu gently on her temple and walked out of the room.

Amu opened her eyes and started to silently cry. Why couldn't she remember who he was? He left such an enormous hole in her heart, so why couldn't she remember a single detail about him?

Amu's cries continued on until she fell asleep again with an empty heart.

* * *

**There you Have it!**

**I'll re-read and correct tomorrow . . . after I go to sleep and wake up again :P**

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	6. Choices

**Sorry for the wait!**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

It been two months since Ikuto has been able to go on a mission; he was dying for one because it was his only chance to escape, but Ikuto knew that his boss was trying to strength the drug.

So far it had been overwhelmingly boring in this cool cell and it left too much time to think. Ikuto found his mind wondering, and finally he came to a conclusion; he had done too much to be worthy of Amu. However, he continually doubted himself, but then he made his final unwavering choice.

The door swung open to his room and Ikuto glanced over with dead eyes. Three nurses rushed in and held him down, but they soon figured out he wasn't going to fight them. They didn't do anything to him as he stared at the ceiling. Two of the nurses left, but one lingered.

"Are you going to be okay?" She asked.

"Like you care." He snarled back.

Ikuto didn't hear any movement and then finally she spoke, "The drug wasn't in the syringe."

He flipped over to stare at her.

"We put water in it, so act." She spoke swiftly and left as the boss and the usual nurse came in.

This fearful nurse did her job swiftly. Ikuto gave her his arm and she shoved the needle in to his arm. He cringe, but didn't bother to fight anymore than that. He watched the boss, he was always followed by shadows and it really bothered him.

"Do you have kids?" Ikuto asked and both the boss and the nurse froze.

The nurse shoved the 'drug' into his arm and then removed the needle before rushing away. No one answered his question.

Something was off, he noticed. If this was just water, then why was he drifting in and out of consciousness? The boss recovered from his shock and explained what had happened.

"There are cameras everywhere in this building." the boss smirked. "I saw that lovely nurse swap out the drug with water and so for punishment you get an extra dose of the new experimental stuff I have been working on."

Ikuto felt himself sit up, but his head felt like it weighed a couple tons. His head rolled to the side as he tried to look at the boss.

"I'll leave the mission folder on the desk." The boss tapped and walked to the door, but then stopped.

"And Ikuto," He called and he sounded normal for the first time, "I have a daughter, that's why I'm doing this. That's why you were chosen."

The door slammed shut and Ikuto stared wide-eyed at the door. _What kind of father does this crap?_ He thought.

He felt my body jerk towards the folder. His instinct was to fight, but he remembered my decision and succumbed to the darkness clouding my mind. As he vaguely felt his body move he went to the memories in his mind.

First there were the memories of when he was younger. It was such a happy time then; nothing to worry about. In his mind he sighed and wandered in and out of his memories as his body did what it was told to do.

* * *

"_Ikuto?" A young voice called for my attention. _

"_Ikuto, wake up!" The voice whined._

"_Go away, Utau." I told rudely._

_I heard a huff, and then someone tugging at my feet. There was a grunt and then a sound of someone falling, followed by crying. I sighed and opened my eyes. _

_I was eight, or so. Utau was lying on the ground sobbing because she fell. I got up and then walked over to help her up. When I grabbed her hand she squealed with delight._

"_Ikuto, are you going to propose?" She squealed._

_I immediately let go of her hand and then shook my head with my eyes closed, but as I opened them I glanced over at the elementary school gate. There was a flash of pink, but my younger self didn't seem to care, like I did. As the memory carried on whenever my younger self glanced in that direction I would always try to look. Nothing._

"_Tadase!" Utau called as she waved in the direction of the school. I, on the other hand, looked in the opposite direction. _

_Tadase came running over and when he got close enough Utau raved about how I was going to marry her. I scoffed and she pouted. However, then Tadase brought up something that interested me, more than my younger self._

"_Utau, who was the new girl in your class?" Tadase asked. _

"_I don't know Ami, or Amu something, but she's leaving because she was bullied because of her funny hair colour." Utau shrugged her shoulders. _

_My younger self walked away from the commotion and wandered to a hill that overlooked fields. I laid down in the soft grass and closed my eyes. I don't know how long I laid there, but it was relaxing._

"_Excuse me?" Someone called and I heard their footsteps coming up the hill._

_I opened my eyes and let them adjust. I turned too looked at the girl in front of me; she had a violin case in her hands. _

"_You left this with your sister, who left it in the park when she ran off with Tadase." The girl explained with a smile. I looked away from her smile and up at her golden eyes and her pink hair._

"_Thanks." My younger self nonchalantly said._

"_Amu!" Her mother called from the bottom of the hill, "Time to go."_

_Amu looked at me with a smile and then raced down the hill. My younger self watched her go and immediately I shut down the memory._

Ikuto had no idea Amu was apart of his younger childhood. He was about to look at another memory, hopefully one without Amu, but then he felt himself coming back to reality.

* * *

He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. "What did I just do?" He asked myself dully.

* * *

**There you have it!**

**Chapter 7 will be up momentarily! :)**

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	7. Hopes Lost

**Here is chapter 7!**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

Utau was on a bus heading through Austria towards her destination, Venice, Italy. She stared at the window and watched the mountains fade into the distances. She regretted leaving Amu months ago, but at the moment finding her brother was the most important thing; for the both of them.

Utau's phone and she looked at the number, she sighed and was about to hang up, but she changed her mind.

"Hello." She said.

"_The nightmare.__"_Was what the person said.

"I'm sorry, but it's best if you have it." Utau told the girl.

"_But it won__'__t come back.__"_She cried desperately.

"Amu, relax." Utau comforted, "I'm almost in Italy."

"_Mmm.__"_Amu hummed and then hung up.

Utau stared at her phone. Something was wrong, but she tried not to worry as she stared back out the window. However, it kept nagging Utau until she slammed her hand on the arm rest beside her, "What kind of call was that?" She growled to herself, unable to ignore how detached Amu sounded.

* * *

Amu was lying in her bed; staring at the closed curtains. She felt dead to the world. Tadase kept visiting, but his visits got shorter and shorter, until finally he stopped coming. It had been two months since she saw Utau and even though she just called Utau on a whim. She felt alone, more alone now then ever.

Amu stared at the door and willed Sophia to walk through, but she never did. Amu pressed the red button that usually called Sophia, but she didn't come. A young nurse walked in with an impatience face.

"What now?" She growled.

"Where's Sophia?" Amu asked.

"I don't know." The girl stated as she turned to leave.

It had also been a month since Amu had seen Sophia. She disappeared shortly after Tadase stopped visiting and she hoped nothing was connected.

Amu still couldn't remember anything except for the past couple months and it frustrated her to no end. It was one of the reasons she was still in her hospital bed with light weight restraints. She remembered what happened when she called for Sophia and she didn't come for the first time.

* * *

_Amu pressed the button and then young nurse appeared. Fear flew through Amu and then she glared at the nurse. _

"_I want to go outside.__"__ Amu demanded through her fear._

_The new nurse, at the time, complied and helped Amu out of the bed. She continued to help outside until Amu was completely comfortable and walking on her own. Amu smiled at her and told her she would be fine. The nurse was about to refuse, but then her pager rang and she ran off with a sigh. _

_Amu smiled and ran around a little bit; just to see how it felt. It was exhausting, but she fought through it and ran to the gates of the hospital. She ran through them and to the nearest bus stop, or what she assumed was the nearest bus stop._

_When the bus arrived, she asked him if he went to the cliff over looking the city. The man looked over the girl and then said, __"__You__'__re from that time.__"_

_Amu looked at him with confusion, but then he agreed to take her there. She smiled and hopped on to the empty bus. _

_It was a long bus ride and Amu found herself dozing off, until finally she was leaning against the window behind her. The bus came to a stop and the bus driver called to her. _

_Amu woke up with flash of her past and she tried to grab at it, but it vanished. Amu looked around in a daze with tears forming in her eyes._

"_Are you alright?__"__ The bus driver asked._

"_Yeah, I__'__m just forgetting things.__"__ Amu whispered._

_The bus driver stood up and stood in her way, __"__Maybe that__'__s because you chose to forget those things because they were too painful to live with.__"_

_Amu looked at the bus driver. It was a very good point and Amu looked over his shoulder at the broken fence. Anxiety swept through her; was she afraid of this place, or was she unconscious afraid of the memories the place held._

"_Maybe that is the reason why I__'__m forgetting.__"__ Amu whispered._

_With a sigh she made her decision, __"__Thank-you, but can you take back to the hospital.__"_

_The man smiled and went back to the front of the bus. Amu sat down staring at the hill and slowly watched it fade behind the trees. When the hill was gone she turned to look at the inside of the bus. For some reason she vaguely remembered sitting in this bus with a crowd of people standing around her, but she was positive there was someone with her._

_They got to the bus stop near the hospital and Amu turned to the driver, __"__You said something before that mad me think I__'__ve been on this bus, is that true?__"_

_The driver nodded his head._

"_Was I with anyone?__"__ Amu asked as the memory got clearer and clearer._

"_No.__"__ The driver stated firmly._

_The memory shattered and vanished like it never had entered her mind in the first place. _

"_Okay,__"__ she sighed. She exited the bus, but not before watching the driver pull out his phone and then rapidly dial a number._

_Amu walked back to the hospital and was greeted by a flood of angry doctors and nurses. They dragged her back to her room and locked her in her room._

* * *

Amu let the memory fade as she looked at the locked door at the end of her bed. Now that she thought about it had the driver contacted the hospital to tell them she escaped? However, she didn't dwell on that as she slowly fell asleep.

* * *

The driver watched as the girl walked towards the hospital. He quickly pulled out his phone and dialled a number that was for emergencies only.

"_What?" _The voice demanded.

"She tried to go to the cliff." The driver told the man.

"_What is Tadase doing?" _The man growled, _"She isn't supposed to go near that place."_

"Um, sir. Tadase wasn't with her and I never let her leave the bus." The driver explained.

"_What?" _The man growled with an ominous tone.

* * *

**There you have it!**

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	8. Something Other Then Lost

**Thanks for all the reviews, favourites, and follows :)**

**I'm currently working on a cover for this story, so we'll have to see which finishes first . . . the cover or the story :P**

**~Enjoy~**

* * *

I had gotten used to Sophia not showing up when I pressed the red button. Not that I pressed the button that often anymore, but I started to see that no matter how much I wanted her to walk in she wouldn't, so I stopped bothering the nurses.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed. I was slowly getting my muscle strength back, but I couldn't get over the fact that I was still in the hospital. I heard that I was going to be transported to a rehab faculty that had the equipment to help me regain my muscle movement and strength, but I haven't left.

I felt trap in this white place and the nightmare hasn't come back; the one where I'm chasing someone without end and never catching them. I relished in the moments when I remembered I would almost catch the figure, but then blue eyes would distract me and the figure would race further ahead.

The door to my room opened and my breath stopped as well as my train of thought.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with an attempt to sound uncaring.

"I'm sorry I haven't come to visit, but school has been busy." The boy said as he walked over and sat beside me. I looked him in the eyes and tried to remember why I felt so obligated to obey him just for a kiss.

He leaned forward and placed a dry emotionless kiss on my lips. I couldn't tell before, but with only weeks of his absence I could now see that his kisses were for show. I didn't push him back, but I didn't kiss him back either. He backed away slowly and tried to look at me with a seductive look. He brushed his hand down my arm and all I felt were chills running up and down my back.

I was given a T.V. and with all the dramas I have been watching I began to wonder if he only came because one of his other girlfriends was busy. The thought brought a stinging feeling to my chest, as much as I hate to admit, but even if you don't like the guy, you'd still be hurt to know you were only being used, right?

I looked at his ugly attempt of a seductive look.

I remembered my dream and how it felt when I woke up. It felt like something was missing and maybe that was why I clung to this boy so fiercely, but he hasn't filled that hole that still lingers even without the dream.

The boy pushed me back and loomed over me, obviously thinking his 'gaze' was working on me. I pushed him back this time, but that was the wrong thing to do.

His red eyes flashed a deeper red and he became furious.

"Amu." The boy's voice was dangerous.

"I don't want you to be here." I told him and pointed to the door. For a moment I thought he might listen as he backed off of me and I could sit up, but then his hand came down across my face.

I was surprised, but not as surprised as I should have been. I reached around and tried to reach the call button, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to face him.

"You realize it's your word against mine." He threatened in a hushed voice.

"I don't care I need to tell someone." I growled back not trying to hide my voice.

I yanked my hand away and reached for the button again, but this time he grabbed my arm and ripped me off the bed. I slid across the floor and hit the wall, but not nearly as hard as he wanted because he walked over and buried his foot in my stomach. My eyes squeezed shut and the air in my lungs was forced out. Before I could inhale he drove his foot into my stomach, I had no air in my lungs to scream, and that appeared to be his idea.

Tears built up at the corner of my eyes and I curled into the fetal position in a weak attempt to stop the violence. However, he didn't stop, he just changed his target. Tears slipped down my cheek and I felt the bruises form on my stomach as the boy ploughed his foot into my legs that were protecting my stomach. I could breathe in, but I think he realized the same thing as he heard voices coming closer to the door.

He growled and my body filled with tension and unyielding pain. In one swift movement I was unconscious on the ground. I wasn't sure if he was kicked me in the head, or if he slammed my head into the wall, but with my eyes closed all I knew was that he had done something and now I remember.

I didn't remember the boy, but I remembered something vitally important. Or at least I think it's important_._

* * *

"_Amu." My father called from down stairs. _

_He sounded angry, but not his usual, goofy-kind of angry, this was rage. I slowly and cautiously walked down stairs. He had never been this way with me before. _

_I got to the bottom of the stairs to see Ikuto standing at the door. Ikuto was pale and looked about ready to run. I turned my focus back to my father. _

"_What?" I asked. _

"_Is this the boy you're dating?" He asked. I stared at my dad, this was the first time he had met Ikuto, but I didn't understand why it should be such a bad thing. _

_I nodded slowly, and then his next question seemed a bit bizarre, "Where did you meet him?"_

"_At school." I looked at my dad with a strange look. What was going on with him?_

_He abruptly turned and asked Ikuto to leave. Ikuto swallowed and then left quickly. So much for our date, I thought to myself._

"_You can't date him." My father demanded. _

"_Why?" I growled. _

"_He's one of my employees." The answer was simply and made me remember that this man was not my father, but my step-father. My real father died in a car crash a couple years ago and this man was a money-hunger business man who went to any lengths to get what he wanted. _

_Did that mean that Ikuto was an assassin?_

_I walked up to my room, but obviously I didn't listen to my step-father. _

_The next day, my step-dad introduced me to Tadase. Apparently, it was an attempt to merge two companies. That did last because a week later Ikuto caught Tadase peeping into my room. My step-dad re-evaluated Ikuto because of it, but something happened to Tadase after that too. I'm not sure what, but Tadase was like a walking land-mine anything you said to him would set him off. I never understood why._

* * *

The memory faded, but oddly enough so did the boy in the memory. The only people in the memory I remembered, were my step-dad and Tadase, the boy who beat me in his parents' hospital. I stared at the back of my eyelids and realized one thing that startled me to tears.

Tadase lied; I had put so much naïve faith in him when I first woke up. He wasn't my boyfriend, he never was. No matter my step-father tried to do.

I opened my eyes with new determination. No one was in my room, which was a good thing because I didn't want to argue with anyone about my leaving the hospital.

Leaving was the only thing in my mind as I made a move to sit up. However, besides the pain the set fire to my body, I also found that my wrists were tied down by light-weight restraints. I glared at them as I realized I had to conquer this problem first.

* * *

After about an hour it became obvious that I wasn't strong enough to simply break these restraints like some superhero. I scowled at the restraints.

A nurse walked in and saw my scowl.

"Sorry, they said these were necessary in case you hurt yourself while you were unconscious." She explained.

"Well, I'm conscious now, so can you take them off?" I asked in a slightly rude tone; which was an accident because I was just frustrated. The nurse looked at me carefully and then nodded.

After the restraints were off and the nurse had left. I tried to get up, but again the pain from the bruises and injuries from Tadase's beating put me on my back again. I glared at the ceiling. The thought struck me, how bad do I want to leave?

With a huff and clenched teeth I got out of the bed and attempted to put on some clothes without too much movement. These clothes were given to me in case I wanted to wander around the hospital without my blue apron-like cover. Satisfied with the minimal pain, I stiffly walked out of my room.

It seemed like forever before I got to what looked like the front of the hospital, but when I was finally outside the fresh air did wonders. I felt new energy just from breathing something other than the stale air in the hospital.

* * *

**Here she goes!**

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	9. She's Everywhere

**This one is kinda short, but it's my second update today!**

**A third should be up momentarily! :P**

**~Enjoy~**

* * *

**Ikuto POV**

* * *

I opened eyes to a dark space, but in the corner of the ceiling a red dot was flashing. I looked around and then swung my legs around. I sat up on my cot and stretched. Still staring off blankly, I waited for my next mission. It had been weeks since the last one, even though I didn't remember what I did, I still remembered the memory that I locked away tightly and securely. If it had her in it . . .

I laughed to myself in the dark space.

"I can't even say her name anymore." I told the dark space. I was trying to forget about her because I wasn't right for her anymore. I put a hand on my face and tried to relax, I had to be emotionless.

Soon, the heavy door opened and the boss walked in. A nurse followed and did something new. Three men came in to help her flip me on to my back. They took off my shirt and put four staples down my spine. I had to clench my teeth together to keep myself from screaming. I could feel fire running up and down my spine until it consumed my mind and I vaguely heard what my boss was saying.

"Sorry, for the wait." My boss spoke, "We had to wait for your sister to leave the area and develop a way to control you without someone tampering with it."

I looked blankly up at my boss. He stared back at me hoping for a reaction, but I wouldn't let him have one, actually the truth is that I couldn't give him one. Finally, he huffed with some satisfaction. Apparently the new device was working well. Then my boss stormed out of the room after tossing me the file. The door slammed shut and I slipped back into my memories as my body did its thing.

This time the memory was closer to the time I left her, maybe my grade ten year. I sighed; she wouldn't be in this memory. Slowly my body and mind separated and I focussed on the memory.

* * *

_I walked into a café near my school, but it was a weekend. I was comfortable in this place because I knew everyone that worked here; mostly because I dated every one of the workers that were female, but I also knew most of the people that came in here because they came to see me and I loved the attention._

_Finally, it was my turn and I ordered my regular, which I didn't have to say because the girl behind the counter giggled when she saw me and knew exactly what I would order. She was one of the more annoying ones; I think her name was Saaya- she proved to be difficult when it came to my dating A. . . Well, she's not part of this memory I thought immediately as I threw away the thought and concentrated on the memory._

_I got my coffee and sat in my usual stop; in the corner facing the door (so I could watch all the people coming)._

_I was about to get up when two girl that went to my high school approached me, but as my younger self talked to them I couldn't help but notice the girl with pink hair sitting in a chair by the window. _

_When the girl left, my younger self notice the girl with pink hair and a book in her hands. My younger self thought she was strange, but then she looked up and noticed me. Her gold eyes shone with curiosity and I cursed._

_Why was she in every single one of my memories? _

_Why did I only notice her as being pretty when she bumped into me?_

_Why didn't I remember seeing her all these times? _

_I thought these things as my younger self went on chatting to another girl who approached him. _

_Someone came into the café and was about the call out the girl with pink hair, but I closed off the memory. "No more." I cursed. _

"_Ikuto." A scream filled my head, but it wasn't part of a memory._

_When nothing changed I relaxed, but then a more panicked scream came through, "Ikuto, Stop!"_

* * *

I tried to get in tune with my body again as my vision started to see reality I was horrified at what I saw. She wasn't supposed to be here.

* * *

**Who is it?**

**You'll see in the next chapter!**

**So far I think the story is going to be finished before the cover :P**

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	10. Forgotten

**Third update today! Whoot!**

**But its the last one for today :)**

**Enjoy~**

* * *

Utau was in Rome, she was supposed to leave for her next venue, but she couldn't. She had a feeling Ikuto was here in the area.

"Ah, there you are." Someone grabbed her arm. She turned and was surprised, but she smiled at him.

"I wasn't expecting you." She smiled.

"I wanted to see you again." He told her with a grin.

He took her hand and pulled her through the crowded streets of Rome. As he was pulling her along she couldn't help but remember how they met a week ago in Venice. He came back stage with his girlfriend at the time, but for what ever reason there was an instant connection.

"Kukai." Utau called, "Where are we going?"

"There's a little park I want to show you." He said over his shoulder.

This park didn't have much trees, or grass; in fact, it was more like a plaza. However, even at this dark hour the plaza was buzzing with life and flickering lamps. There were singers, dancers, magicians, and artists.

Kukai and Utau wandered around taking pictures with fountains, people, and getting their portrait painted. They listened to singers and people on instruments. It was incredibly beautiful.

Utau wasn't sure how long they had been out, but her phone started to vibrate. When she pulled it out and answered it, her manager's voice erupted from the earpiece, "Where are you?"

"In Rome." Utau said quickly as she looked around for Kukai who vanished suddenly.

"Well, you're supposed to be Florence. You have a concert in a couple days." Her manager reminded her.

"Yeah and I'll be there." Utau said as she saw Kukai being dragged away by some other guy. Utau hung up and ran after them.

Kukai wasn't struggling and simply noticing that made Utau fear more and run harder. She was about to catch up to them, but only enough to see that the man dragging Kukai looked an awful lot like her brother. The man picked Kukai up and ran faster, but as the man ran under a street light Utau saw that his hair glowed blue.

If it were possible she ran harder, "Ikuto." She called.

The man turned his head, but didn't stop. Until he thought he had lost Utau, but she was hiding behind the corner of a building that lined the alley way Ikuto and Kukai had gone into.

Ikuto dropped Kukai on the ground and then drilled his foot into Kukai's side. Horrified, Utau was stunned and froze in her place, but only momentarily as she watched Ikuto lift Kukai up and punch him in the gut.

She ran and pushed Ikuto back, not that he moved, as she desperately hugged Kukai. When she looked up, she realized that Ikuto wasn't himself. His eyes were clouded over and he reached for Kukai even though she was right there.

"Ikuto, Stop!" Utau screamed with panic.

She saw recognition come over his features. He stared at Kukai in horror and then with more horror when he saw Utau kneeling at his feet.

"Did I hurt you?" Ikuto mumbled, still fighting to control himself.

"No, but what were you doing to Kukai." Utau demanded as she hugged Kukai closer.

"He must have been in the way of my boss, who ordered me to . . ." Ikuto couldn't finish the sentence, but not because of the headache trying to beat down Ikuto's conscious so he could finish killing Kukai. He couldn't finish the sentence because this person was obviously important to his sister.

"To what? Kill him? Why do you have to listen?" Utau challenged. Ikuto looked at her hopelessly and turned around so she could the blood stained shirt. Ikuto lift the back up so she could see that there was a machine controlling him.

"Why?" Utau whispered.

Because the drug doesn't work anymore, Ikuto wanted to say, but that would open up more questions than there already were.

"That doesn't matter." Ikuto stated quickly as he felt himself slipping away. "Utau, you need to take him and leave this city."

Utau nodded and started to get up, "What about Amu?"

Ikuto started at Utau with shock. He had always thought that this would be best, but now suddenly having to say it made it seem to difficult. "Tell her to forget about me."

Ikuto leaped off and was about to run away along the roof tops when he heard Utau say, "She already has because of the fall."

* * *

Ikuto froze as he looked down at Utau struggling to walk away fast.

Amu had forgotten about him because of a fall. Within seconds Ikuto remembered the text message Utau sent about Tadase framing him. He wanted to hurt Tadase, but he knew it was for the best even if it killed him emotionally.

* * *

**. . . Hmm. . . **

**I still think the book is going to be done before the cover :P**

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	11. Truly Lost

**Sorry for the wait!**

**Here is chapter 11**

**Amu POV**

* * *

_I always wondered what was going to happen to me, but I never imagined I would forget everything._

* * *

I left the hospital and the weeks following, I was considered a missing person, to both myself and the police, who had posted my picture everywhere. I expected it to be harder to wander around in broad daylight, but no one noticed the resemblance between me and the picture. The odd person who did was easily turned away with a variety of excuses.

I wandered around, and I was amazed at the little things the brought back my memories. A cat running across the street made me remember a cat my mother rescued. This memory led me to the house I'm pacing in front of.

Is it really such a good idea to knock on the door and ask questions when I won't even know if the answers they give me are the truth or not?

I thought about the question for what seemed like hours, when a small girl came out and said, "Amu?"

I turned to face her and lowered to her level, "Do you know me?"

"Are you Amu?" The girl asked.

I was about to respond, when a woman opened the front door and called the girl back home, "Ami, what did I tell you about talking to strangers?"

"But, she's not a stranger, mama." Ami replied shaking her head and her small pigtails swung, "She's Amu."

"No." The woman responded harshly. "Amu is dead."

The woman rushed out of the door way and scooped Ami up. She raced inside the house and then re-emerged only seconds later.

She got really close to my face, but didn't say anything.

"So you know me? Are you my mother?" I asked.

The woman glared, but there was sadness behind her eyes, so much sadness that it washed away the threatening glare. It was like she was more hurt than anyone could possibly imagine and she was only going to make it worse.

"I don't know you." She gasped through clenched teeth. I could feel the pain radiating through her words. It was bringing us both to tears. "Don't call yourself Amu, because . . ."

The woman squeezed her eyes shut to prevent the tears from spilling, "Because . . ." She took a breath, "She. Is. Dead."

The woman gasped and held her stomach, tears leaked down her cheeks. She looked straight at me and it appeared that her words caused herself so much pain.

"I don't who you are." She walked away, but even her attempts to silent her sobs, I still heard them and they broke my heart. Tears started to fall from my eyes, and the pain in my chest was unbearable and I responded, "Neither do I."

The woman walked into her house and shut the door. She crumpled to the floor and screamed and cried. Ami rushed to her side. "Mama," She whispered with sadness in her voice, "Was that Amu?"

The woman looked at a family photo hanging on the wall. She was hold a baby, Ami, and her husband stood beside her, not the money driven psycho she married, but Ami and Amu's real father, and finally smiling brightly with shining gold eyes was Amu, her eldest daughter, who seconds ago stood before her wondering if her mother knew her.

"Yes." The woman wept.

Ami gasped and ran to the open window and started screaming for her sister. The woman curled into a tight ball and cried with so much sadness and regret. She didn't think it was ever possible to feel this way.

* * *

I walked away, quickly and I never looked back. The tears fell faster with each step, and my steps quickened when I heard Ami calling for her sister, Amu, but I was never going to call myself Amu again.

The woman, who was probably my mother, knew that even with all my memories back I would never be the same person. So, I took the first step. I changed my name, and moved.

And the first place that came to mind was Italy. I was going to Italy.

* * *

**There you have it!**

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	12. Closer

**Thanks for your patience! And for the reviews, follows, and favourites!**

**:)**

**Chapter 12**

* * *

He looked around the room, what was he going to do?

He sighed and slowly sat up. He cringed as he tried to stretch because the staples in his back were still raw, but healing; slowly.

He mind was much easier to control these days and his boss wasn't sure what happened to make Ikuto so lifeless; not that the boss was complaining.

The heavy metal door opened and the boss and a nurse walked in.

"We have bought an apartment for you." The nurse spoke calmly.

The boss passed Ikuto a cell phone, not the one that Amu knew the number to . . .It was new.

"Keep the cell phone on you at all times so I can contact you with info and details for the next job." The boss growled.

Ikuto stood with a wince and then stared emotionlessly. The nurse walked over and gentle took his elbow and walked him forward. As they walked passed the boss, he grabbed Ikuto rough and whispered, "Don't think you can start living a normal life just because I let you leave."

He rough dropped Ikuto's arm and then Ikuto and the nurse continued to walk forward. The boss' cell phone rang and when he answered it Ikuto slowed to a stop and listened with his heightened hearing.

"_Sir, we have information that your daughter just landed in Rome." _The voice on the other end spoke calmly.

"She's WHAT?" The boss growled and glanced at Ikuto to see him staring. "Keep tabs on her and keep me updated."

The boss hung up and turned to Ikuto.

"You promised, sir." The nurse said before the boss could even say anything. Ikuto, even in his emotionless state, was surprise to see the boss listen to the nurse.

"I know." He roared and the wall shook, but the nurse didn't even flinch, unlike the others.

The boss raced up to Ikuto and grabbed Ikuto's shirt, "If you even think about trying to meet my daughter, I will have your head."

Usually, the boss' face was covered in shadows, but now Ikuto could see him. Ikuto knew exactly who he was. He was Amu's step-father. Ikuto was stunned at the new information and he slowly processed the boss' order. Amu was here.

Ikuto nodded.

The boss dropped Ikuto's shirt and growled at the nurse to hurry. She nodded and walked off with Ikuto. They turned corner after corner, but eventually the sun beat down on Ikuto's face. He relished in the heat and his mind whirled to Amu, but Ikuto fought to close the memory down.

It didn't work. Amu filled his mind as the nurse directed him to sit down and wait for her.

* * *

He heard her laughing first, and then as he closed his eyes he saw her staring up at him, or the memory version of himself.

"Ikuto, what's the surprise?" Amu giggled with anticipation. She held one of his hands between both of hers and Ikuto focused on the softness of them.

"Ikuto." She whined slightly as she dropped his hands. Ikuto took her hand before it dropped to her side and walked forward with her at his side.

"It wouldn't be a surprise, if I told you." Ikuto heard himself say with a smile on his lips. Amu looked at him with a pout and wide eyes, but Ikuto laughed and didn't say anything more as they walked.

This memory wasn't long before Ikuto left, he realized. He looked at his memory self and Amu. He could see the love they had for each other and his heart clenched. He was taking her to the beach, though she would find out soon. Ikuto remembered how he had everything planned, but the one thing that he didn't take into account was the amount of attention Amu would get from people passing by. . . Guys passing by.

The memory jumped forward to Ikuto lounging in the sand while he watched Amu and Utau splash in the water.

Ikuto cringed as he watched himself close his eyes for only a moment before he heard screaming, but not just any screaming, it was Amu screaming at some guys to back off. They chuckled and continued their advances. Amu glanced at Ikuto lying down and called to him, "Ikuto."

He jumped up and raced to over to Amu and Utau cowering behind her. Ikuto stepped in front of Amu and glared at the guys. Ikuto was taller and more built, but they had more.

"Leave her alone." Ikuto growled. Ikuto remembered how he meant to put more anger behind his words, but the group of guys seemed to be intimidated enough as they backed away awkwardly laughing about how they were only joking.

Amu touch his arm and he look down at her. "Thanks." She whispered.

"Do you want to leave?" Ikuto asked. Amu simply nodded and took Ikuto's hand as they walked out of the water with Utau hugging Amu's other arm.

They got out of the water, walked over to their spot and started gathering their things. On their way to Ikuto's car, technically his parents- but that didn't really matter- Amu and Utau wanted to get ice cream. With a sigh, Ikuto forked over some money and told them he would meet them at the car. Ikuto remembered leaning against the car getting more anxious by the second and the wave a relief when Amu came walking back laughing at Utau who had ice cream on her nose.

"Amu." Both the present and the memory Ikuto sighed.

* * *

A slap against Ikuto's cheek brought him back for the memory. The nurse glared at him, "Don't even think about going to see her. Do you know how hard I worked to get you out of that place?"

Apparently Ikuto had actually whispered her name during his memory, but the nurse didn't have to tell him not to see her because he didn't want her involved. . . Even if her step- father was his boss.

* * *

The nurse accompanied Ikuto his lavish apartment. It surprised Ikuto actually, given the small streets and crowded housing of Rome. Ikuto and the nurse were joined by a security team that hooked up camera and all sorts of things to keep an eye on Ikuto.

His phone beeped and Ikuto looked down at the incoming caller.

"Hello." Ikuto said with his monotone voice.

"_Hmm." _His boss sneered_, "I expect you to be in the apartment by 9 PM every night." _

The boss hung up and Ikuto just stared at the phone as the thought, '_Are you my parent?' _floated across his mind.

* * *

Eventually, he was alone in his apartment. It was strange how a place as comfortable as it should have been wasn't comfortable at all. Ikuto didn't feel as though he gained any freedom at all.

"Amu," He whispered to no one, "Why did you come here?"

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	13. In Trouble

**Here is the next chapter!**

**Thanks for everything :)**

* * *

She was expecting Amu to call if she needed anything, but hours past and she was never called. She started to worry about Amu because she got a call from the hospital saying that she left. She cancelled the remaining part of her tour, refunded all her tickets, and as an extra gave them a new ticket for when she began her tour again. She told them it was family troubles.

Her phone rang and she leaped over the bed to get to it.

"Hello?" She panted.

"_Can you pick me up?" _It was Kukai, not Amu.

"Yeah." Utau said.

Kukai told her where he was and then they hung up. Utau got up and grabbed her keys as she stared at the window briefly to the remodelled apartments across the street. She stopped in her tracks, and the air froze in her lungs. The person looked dead as he offered a wave.

"Ikuto." Utau found that she could breathe again.

She waved back and then motioned for him to meet her downstairs. He nodded and then turned to leave his apartment. She did the same, but with much more enthusiasm. She stepped into the light and anxiously stared against the small street. Eventually, Ikuto stepped out of the building.

Utau turned and started to walk down the street. Ikuto followed suit. At the corner, they stood beside each other and Ikuto looked at her, "What are you still doing here?"

"Kukai and I moved in together." Utau stated, but it was half of a lie.

"You and Kukai could have moved in together anywhere. That isn't the reason you decided to stay here." Ikuto challenged her lie. Utau sighed and stared up at the sun through the clouds. She wasn't sure if she should tell him the reason. She didn't know what he would do.

"Amu told me she was coming here." Utau whispered. She saw Ikuto suck in a breath. Hope blossomed in her chest, but she hid the smile that started to creep onto her face when she saw the pain on Ikuto's face.

They started walking. It was silent more than too long, but neither one of them wanted to break the silence for fear of where the conversation would lead. They passed a number of streets and turned a couple of corners. Utau didn't have a clue where she was, but she hoped Ikuto did.

Her phone buzzed. She didn't answer it at first, but then the second buzz broke the young silence and Ikuto told her to pick it up.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and answered it.

"Hi." Utau smiled, "How are you doing?"

"_I'm doing fine." _A tired voice replied. Ikuto was able to hear the response as well and tried not to stiffen.

"That's good." Utau said, "You sound tired. Do you have a place to stay?"

"_How are you?" _The voice asked, trying to sound livelier.

"I'm fine." Utau sensed that she was trying to change topics, but she wasn't going to go along with it. "Amu, do you have a place to stay?"

She sighed, _"No."_

"I'll have Kukai come pick you up, you can stay with us." Utau in that moment didn't notice that Ikuto paled and froze where he stood.

"_I can't." _Amu replied. Ikuto relaxed and let go of the breath he was holding.

"Yes you can." Utau insisted. Ikuto froze again.

"_No." _Amu sounded determined, "_I don't want to impose."_

Utau sighed. "Fine, but if you don't find a decent place you need to tell me."

"_Okay, Thanks, Utau." _Amu whispered and then hung up.

Utau looked over at Ikuto and noticed he was still standing like a statue. She glared at him and told him to relax. She asked him if he heard the conversation and he didn't lie.

They turned and started heading back to the apartment. In the silence of their walk Utau thought back to the phone call with Amu and realized something that worried her. There was no background noise. Surely, if she was at or near the airport there would be background noise.

Utau whipped out her phone and sent Amu a quick text asking her where she was. She didn't expect an immediate answer, so when the answer came seconds later Utau started to worry.

'You said you wouldn't send Kukai.' was the response.

Utau looked at the message and then told Amu that she didn't. The reply came instantly, 'Then why is he here.'

Utau decided she would call Kukai. He picked up by the third attempt to call him.

"_What?" _He snapped.

"What's going on?" Utau snapped back challenging him. However, she suddenly felt like she didn't know him. It was his idea to move into the apartment that was across from Ikuto. She thought it was a coincidence, but was she wrong? She tried to shove her doubt away by reminding herself that Ikuto moved in after them and surely, Kukai wasn't part of something dangerous. However, Utau couldn't help remember that Ikuto attacked Kukai a while ago. Doubt swarmed her heart. Did Kukai know Utau was Ikuto's sister when they met? She felt her heart break a little, what if she was part of a plan?

Kukai's tone softened immediately, but that only made her more suspicious. _"I'm just on my way to a market."_

She ground her teeth together, how dare he lie to her. The thought came out in her tone, "Why are you with Amu?"

He hung up on her. She glared at her phone and turned to point her anger at Ikuto. She asked him if he heard the conversation.

"That was Kukai?" Ikuto replied, "You should have let me kill him."

Utau hardened her glare in an attempt to hide her doubt. She looked down at her phone and then thought to herself, _'didn't he ask me to pick him up?'_. Utau blocked out the questions and turned to Ikuto to ask if he happened to hear anything in the background. That question got his attention.

"Why?" He asked with alertness.

"We need to find him." Utau growled and then added, "I think Amu is in trouble."

Ikuto, in the next instance, grabbed Utau and pulled her through the street back to his apartment. They raced up the stairs and Ikuto flew to his computer and started a search with the information he gathered from the background noise in the phone conversation from both Amu and Kukai. To Utau it sounded silent, but Ikuto could hear little noises, like water, wind, and footsteps on stone; they were definitely outside somewhere and not alone.

Utau simply looked around and waited. She noticed a pile of folders sitting on the coffee table in the middle of the room. She walked over and sifted through them until she found Kukai's folder. She opened it and let it fall to the ground after she read the red writing on the top of the page. **"MUST ELIMINATE"**

Ikuto's phone rang, but Utau ignored it as Ikuto picked it up and as she continued to stare at the page at her feet. Her eyes finally went past the red writing to a black and white photo of Kukai as he stared back at the camera with a haunting look that sent chills down Utau's spine. The rest of the sheet was basic information: height, weight, date of birth, etc.

Utau was still staring at the sheet when Ikuto walked over and picked up the folder and its contents.

"Utau, we have to go." Ikuto said as he put the folder down and pulled Utau to the door.

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